On the Patriots meltdown versus the Colts

"I have never watched a sporting event that got me so upset in my life."

2009 MLB Playoff Analysis

This seems like as good a place to start as any. I talked to Pear this afternoon for the first time since his return from a two-week business trip to Europe. His first line, after a cursory greeting, was: "I get back in the U.S. and find out that Boston sports sucks. What a nightmare."

After some chit-chat, Pear let me in on a fairly thorough analysis of this year's major league baseball playoffs.


Pear: "Baseball sucks. The Dodgers suck, the Phillies suck, the Angels suck, and the Yankees suck. The Phillies have that jerk Pedro. The Yankees are just complete assholes… The Phillies are going to kill the Dodgers, so that’s good, and the Angels are going to kill the Yankees. And then nobody’s going to give a shit about the Angels versus the Phillies."

Me: "Did you say you're happy that the Phillies are going to kill the Dodgers? I thought you said the Phillies suck because they have Pedro?"

Pear: "Yeah, but the Dodgers have Manny, and he’s an even bigger jerk. Pedro at least has some redeeming characteristics. I mean, he did say he was going to drill the Bambino in the ass. So you’ve got to look at the big picture. You’re got to keep things in perspective, you know?"


So you can write it down: this year's World Series will pit the Phillies against the Angels. The winner doesn't matter, because nobody will give a shit. Thanks, Pear!

Introduction

My father, who my brother and I affectionately refer to as Sir Vladimir Pear, or Pear for short, is prone to harmless rants from time to time. I have decided to capture them on this blog. This is not an original idea, but regardless I think it's worth giving it a shot. I'm curious whether his raves will be as funny in this format, to people who might be unfortunate enough not to experience the Pear on a regular basis, as they are to me when hearing them in person or over the phone.

Feel free to follow along.

-Wrdo